Where you lead, I will follow

Everyone is leaving and doing great things with their lives and here I am doing the same thing and being really predictable. I'm so happy for everyone though. I just selfishly wish they were all here to keep me company.

Have fun in Italy, Ms Thang! You're going to have the experience of a lifetime.

I think I can

You know, I think I can actually raise children. Not that I want to right now but when I do have kids, I'm comforted to know that I won't starve them or accidentally lock them in a closet. But hey, no one's perfect. I might slip up.

There were never such devoted sisters

My sister is here to visit for a few days and I realized I am really not ready to have children. We went to bed at 11 because she was crazy awake and she woke up at 5. She's just so darn active! BUt just when I think I can't take care of her for 3 days, she does something super cute and makes me think I'm overreacting. (Like just now she came up and randomly kissed my hand -- but then she ran off to ride her Razor Scooter in the house... How am I supposed to react to that?) Let's see how the next few days go.

Tidbits

Stay away from the log ride at Enchanted Forest if you are on a date because it will ruin your hair and make you soaking wet.

Never attempt to frame a silk scarf unless you are prepared to invest an hour of your life.

Don't watch Gilmore Girls when you are hungry.

If you go to a town 4 hours away that a popular teenage romantic science fiction novel is based in, don't post the pictures on Facebook.

Never leave dishes in the sink for more than a week without at least soaking them in water.

Be sure to search under every piece of furniture in your house when looking for your obese siamese cat.

Make sure that the restaurant you want to go to for dinner is open for dinner.

And never ever doubt that you can wake up, take a shower, dry your hair, do your makeup and get dressed in less than 20 minutes.

Oh baby, you're a big girl now

So today I found out that some pictures I took at a wedding were ordered by various members of the bridal party. That made me feel good. Especially when one order was nothing but my prints. It makes me think I can actually make photography a career. Plus it felt good that they liked mine better than my boss's. Hah.

Tomorrow I am going to IKEA with my roommates to go wander the huge store, get lost in the children's section, fall asleep on the nicely made model beds and see what else we need for our apartment. I was just making a list of things off the top of my head and we still need so much stuff. I don't think I'm ready to live in an apartment yet. I'm never going to be able to move out of my parent's house after college. I'm sure my mom wouldn't complain.

I wore something out of the back of my closet today and I got a million compliments. It wasn't even fancy. This week I'm going to wear something that I haven't worn in at least a year every day. I'm pretty sure I could go 2 weeks but I'm starting with 1.

To boyfriend or not to boyfriend? That is the question.

How do you break up with a boy and still remain his friend? I mean, in my book, you can't just say "Gee, Charles. It was average while it lasted but eventually your putrid breath and lack of personality just got to me. In fact, if we keep dating, I may have to flee the country just to get away from you. But I would really like us to remain friends." Charles would be one sad man to stay friends with someone who broke up with him like that.

But that's kind of the predicament I find myself in now. Although he is sweet and funny, I just don't think we make the best kind of couple. Someone can be a good boyfriend and someone can be a good girlfriend but that doesn't mean that they are good for each other. I just find myself in between a rock and a hard place (so that be two hard places) because:
a) He cares about me much more than I care about him (I mean, he's talking love and wedding vows). I feel like I'm such a heartless girl because I don't return those feelings at all.
b) His best friend (my neighbor from last year) is one of my really good friends. She explicitly told me (in a joking way) not to break his heart. And I feel like I'm going to do just that.
c) I don't know how to do it because we live about an hour away from each other. I don't want him to drive here and have me break up with him but I also don't want to drive there and be in an awkward situation. But I think over the phone might be a little tacky... However, via text is the best route in this situation I'm thinking. Clean, simple and if he tries to make it difficult, I just don't respond, right? Yeah, okay, no texting.

Also, he has a trait that I don't really care for. His high level of interest in marijuana and alcohol is one thing that I really don't like. It wasn't until after we started dating that I realized he liked to smoke. He claimed that it was a habit he was breaking and something he did more out of peer pressure than personal gain. But to this day, the habit has still not been kicked. Oh, and did I mention that his best friend is a drug dealer? He has admitted that smoking pot has impaired his memory and made him less motivated -- yet he can't seem to stop. It just really frustrates me to see him so consumed by it. And it doesn't make me feel better that he blames it on his pot-head friends. Doesn't that just mean that he isn't strong enough to hold his own and tell them no? Since I don't drink or do drugs, I don't see the point in it. I feel completely competent without the aid of those things. I still manage to have a good time without them. I just feel like if we keep dating, he would try and pressure me into doing stuff that I really don't want to.

I just feel suffocated in this relationship right now. Especially after going to China I feel like there is so much that I want to do with my life and I just feel so tied down by being in a relationship. I feel like I always find a boy, get attached and then realize that it isn't going to work out when it's too late. Becoming a nun has never sounded so good.

The Olympics

Okay, the watching Olympic gymnastics is just pathetic. I can barely reach my toes let alone flip around and do all sorts of upside down splits on a 4-inch wide bar! Yeah, depressing to the extreme. But a word of caution: once you start watching, you can't stop. Especially when it comes to the trampoline event.

And today I started to paint stuff for my apartment. I am covered in pink paint and I am headed to the eye doctor now. Joy.

My China Adventure

I can't put into words how much I learned from my trip to China. Everyday was incredible. The architecture there (new and old) was amazing and the history of their culture is evident not only in the ancient buildings but within the people themselves. China really felt like a separate world from the one we live in. Of course my favorite parts were climbing the Great Wall and walking through the Summer Palace and of course going to the Olympics. But despite the smog, I also found pleasure in the little things.

I found it hilarious that the Chinese people would whip out their cameras as soon as they saw us and throw their children in front of us to take pictures. Our tourguide would tell us that frequently people walking down the street would say, "Look at their hair! And their skin is so white!" It was weird being the odd one out especially coming from a country where ethnicity doesn't matter. In the States, I wouldn't bat an eyelash at seeing someone who looks Chinese. We were told that they only see Americans (or Caucasians in general) once or twice in their lifetime. No wonder they got so excited!

The food was something I wasn't really expecting. I really don't think I will be able to eat some foods now without being reminded of my (not so fond) memories of eating in China. Everything there was caked in grease and seemed like it had been deep-fried more than once. After a few days, I found myself only eating rice and meat or fish that looked like it had been grilled. But although the food wasn't always amazing, I fell in love with the Peking duck and the dumplings. I really could have eaten my weight in dumplings. One place shaped the dumplings into what was in them (ie a pork dumpling would be in the shape of a pig while a duck dumpling would look like a duck). It was so cute and looked like dumpling origami.

My roommate situation wasn't ideal. More than once I felt like taking my dirty socks and ramming them into her mouth. She had an opinion about everything from the culture of China and how it developed to what my mysterious illness was. I was definitely ready to come home to my own, private room. But luckily I was able to spend time with a friend who I hadn't seen in a while and was able to build that friendship along the trip with many good laughs and discussions.

The trip had its really memorable moments that will mean more to me than to the people I tell them to: Stepping in shit on top of the Great Wall, walking around like retarded geese at the Great Wild Goose Pagoda, riding bikes on the city wall in the pouring rain, acting like ninjas for an entire day (and subsequently, the entire trip), playing my flute for little children and trading jokes with an old Chinese man. But I think the most influential thing I will be taking away from my trip to China is how lucky and fortunate I feel to be an American. Learning about Communism in school doesn't compare at all until seeing it first hand. And I know my stay in China wasn't lengthy and that I didn't see the full extent of the Chinese government's hold on the country, but hearing stories from the citizens and witnessing the power the government has over their people was incredible. Also seeing the level of poverty there and the circumstances in which people live was unnerving. I am so thankful to live in a country where I can speak my mind and not be worried about being arrested. I am thankful that I don't have to worry about where my next meal comes from. I am thankful that I am able to write this post and know that it won't be censored in anyway. And I am thankful that I have the job opportunities available to me no matter of my social status, race or religion.

All in all, I loved my trip to China but I am glad to be home.

Numero Uno

So I decided to make a new blog. I had ridden the LiveJournal train for a while but I've had it ever since Lauren made it for me who knows how many æons ago. Now as I attempt to break into the blogging world again, I feel like I should break away from the blog that hosted so many of my dramatic high school memories. Ms Laws herself claimed Blogger was easy to use and I decided to give it a try. Basically, I'm just keeping it up for two of the loves in my life. Here we go again...