Winding Down

It makes me so sad to see the end of summer. I hate watching the days begin to get shorter and the flowers start to die. And then there is all of the preparation for school that the last few weeks of summer seem to be sucked away. I know in about 3 weeks I will be envying myself in this very moment: Sitting at home with no homework, no agenda, free food & laundry and no apartment or roommates to worry about. However, I am very excited for summer to end even though my 3-week-away self will think I'm insane.

Life at home has been hard this summer. Friends didn't come home from college or if they did, they didn't stay for long enough. Also, the friends who were in town were busy with jobs and vacations and the like. Also, my mother has been difficult to deal with. She hasn't learned to treat me like a independently functioning human being and has continued to do some irksome things like setting curfew and taking my car keys away. I lived on my own for a year already and it was near impossible to come home and live under her rules again.

I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of two chapters of my life. I'm squished in between my childhood and my future and neither one of them is budging to let me go. I keep wondering how long I'm going to feel like this. Will I finally feel like an adult when I don't come home during the summers or when I graduate from college? Or will the feeling of being a child in my parent's house always linger there no matter how old I am?

I really wish I could have enjoyed my time in Salem a little more because I do love this city and I have had some great memories here. I just can't help thinking about how out of place I feel now that I've graduated from high school and been away. Luckily, I'm moving out in a little over a week and will be going back to Eugene where I feel a little bit more at home at the present. I will be living in an apartment with my own room where I can do just about whatever I want and not get yelled at for it.

I already have a list of what I want to do first: Put my shoes right in front of the door, leave my water glass on the bedside table without a coaster and stay up on Facebook until 3am.